More About Me...

Bitchy and sarcastic with an overall sour personality...oh wait, this is the about me NOW section. Not who I wanna be when I grow up :) I like poetry, long moonlit walks on the beach and romantic candlelit dinners Oh wait, I'm married. No need for the Match.com commentary. Sometimes I forget, it has only been 20 years. But whose counting.

Another Tit-Bit...

On top of marital bliss and motherhood, I have 2 jobs. Neither of which is going to land me a Nobel. They do however provide endless entertainment and frustration. I have been bloggin off and on for about 4 years. More off then on now with my WoW addiction. Yes, my name is Z and I am a WoWaholic.

Birth of a Biker Chick

I was surfin blogs this morning and visited a friend of mine.
She got me to thinkin about my biker moments. Thought I would share how I fell into the biker chick role.

My hubby has always had a thing for motorcycles. I enjoyed riding also, and was happy to take the "bitch" seat. I enjoyed the wind in my face, the scenery and not being responsible for keepin the tires on the road. In Feb 1992 I gave birth to my daughter, and Bri (my hubby) celebrated by purchasing a Harley. What a birthday gift huh? I was happy for him because I knew how much he loved it. I rarely rode with him as I seemed to be constantly attatched to the baby AND when my daughter was only 5 months old, I got pregnant AGAIN! (So much for the old wives tale that nursing mothers can't concieve) Not real easy to ride 2-up when you have a basketball for a belly.

I really started enjoying going with Bri once our son turned 1 (Sept 1994) We joined the local HOG. Made tons of friends. We went on group rides every week. It was a very nice way for us to spend time together and since we didn't have a side car, we were forced to get a babysitter and have some adult fun. The catch here was in finding a "reliable" sitter. NOT an easy task. Very often we would get someone to agree to sit with the kids for 2 hours on Sunday morning, and come Sunday morning, the sitter wouldn't bother to show up. Gotta love that! So being the nice understanding wife I am, I would force Bri to go without me. This went on for months. I didn't know how to ride on my own, so I had to rely on these get aways for my chance to enjoy the bike. I became frustrated over missing out all the time.

After about 6 months of this hit and miss ride time for me, I found myself at the Harley dealership one day with my sister. Think I was there to drop off the recent edition of our chapter newsletter that I helped publish. For some odd reason that day, I was feeling kinda gutsy and adventurous. So I started scoping out the bikes in the showroom. Now, I am a bit deficient in the height department. So finding a bike I felt comfortable on was no easy task. I had never rode solo. I had absolutly no clue where the gas pedal and the brakes were. But for some reason on that day, I decided it was time for me to take the hog by the horns and buy myself a bike.

I remember my sister encouraging me between giggles. I had no idea if I could even get a loan or worse yet if I would ever be able to learn how to ride. But I was determined. I found out that the Hugger883 was built for us height deficient types. Both my feet laid flat on the ground, the bars were comfortable and I could close my eyes and feel myself navigating this machine down the open road. It just so happened they had a pretty bronze pearl model that some guy had just traded in. He had owned it for about 3 months and made a bunch of modifications to it before deciding he wanted something bigger. Seemed to be my lucky day!

I asked my friend Rich, the salesmen, for an application. His response was "Don't you want to call Bri and ask him about it first?" WELL... that just about pissed me off! How dare he assume I need permission to buy myself a toy. Even more determined then ever, I grabbed the pen out of his hand and started filling away. About 20 minutes later I walked out to go finish my shopping. I don't think I really thought it would all go thru, let alone go so quickly. Within an hour my cell phone rang. It was Rich, calling to tell me I could come pick up my bike. O M G !! My Bike!! What on earth had I done?!? lol

I took a deep breath and told him I would have to wait until later that night or the next day, when I could have someone come with me to drive my car home. Keep in mind here, I can NOT ride a motorcycle. I couldn't have made it out of the parking lot pushing it without wrecking it lol The truth was I had to wait until later when I could get Bri to ride it home for me. But over my dead body was I going to let Rich know that LOL

I made a stop off at the DMV to pick up the motorcycle handbook. My next task was to get the permit I needed to be able to ride my new bike, if I ever mastered being able to keep it upright and rolling. That night I studied like a mad woman possessed. I was going the next morning to take the test and I WAS going to pass!! Which I did (only missed one question too) I impatiently waited for Bri to get home that night, proudly showed off my new permit as I was pushing him to the car and off we went to get my ride.

The next day I got up bright and early. I had spent the evening listening to Bri's tips and hints on how best to attack learning how to ride. I knew everything there was to know about the make up of the bike. I know knew that there was no gas pedal, but a throttle. (Important knowledge) Much like with life though, book smarts doesn't always make you an expert. Putting text into physical motion is a whole nother ballgame. We had a 150' gravel driveway. My goal was to walk the bike out to the road and position myself so I could go straight. Our street was 3 miles long, that gave me time to get used to the feel before I had to think about making any type of turn. Long story short, that first day I never made it to the end of the driveway. I laid it down at about 100'. Sugarsand is NOT a bikers best friend! Lesson #1 I learned on my own.

I'm not sure how much my bike weighed but it felt like a brass elephant when I tried to right it. It took all my energy to get it back on the kickstand, but I did. And when Bri returned from work that night, that is exactly where it sat !! My arms felt like wet noodles and my spirits were in the dirt. I mentally beat myself up. What kind of fool was I to think I could master this? How was I going to face the shame of having to take the bike back to the dealership and explain what a huge mistake I had made? The bike sat in the garage for 2 days while I worked up the guts to try it again.

Sunday morning, before anyone was up I had gotten mad at myself for giving in. I took that energy into the garage, I started that bike and slowly worked my way down the driveway. I made it out to the road and away I went. Slow and ever so unsteady but I was rolling. I even managed to make it to 2nd gear. It is a very bizarre sensation to be at the controls. The force of the wind was greater, the fear of failing and smashing this pretty new bike. And OMG if a car had pulled out in front of me, I would have been a goner. Slowly I gained some confidence. I managed to turn around in a driveway. Going back to the house I found 3rd gear. Whew, maybe I was going to make it after all.

At that time I was working 4p - midnight. So for 2 weeks I would have Bri ride my bike to work when he went in the morning, then he would come to my work, leave the bike and take the car home. At midnight in my town the streets are all but deserted. It was the perfect opportunity for me to hone my new skills and I quickly became comfortable riding.

That has been many years ago, and now I ride without thinking about it. I guess it becomes 2nd nature like everything else. Knock on wood I have never laid a bike down since that first scary day. And Lord willing, I hope I never have to. I never forget how vulnerable we are on a bike. I assume no one is going to see me and that everyone is looking to run me over. Makes me a defensive driver I guess. Once you ride solo, it becomes like an addiction and I absolutly love it!
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FANatic

Is it possible to be a wicked sports fanatic without having a "favorite" team??

I love team sports. Hockey, football, soccer even racing. Seems that sports has always been a big part of my life. In high school I was huge on team spirit. Didn't matter if our team was losing every game or traveling to State Championships, it was important to me to show my support.

I have above average knowledge of rules and stratagies on most sports. I think that is the part of the game that intrigues me the most. Knowing why someone gets a penalty before it is announced. Knowing why some cars chose to take a pit stop when others choose to stay out during a caution flag. These are the things that fuel my love of the game.

Today is a big sports day. And like alot of people, I will be avidly watching the 4 best teams in football fight it out to earn their division championships and their way to the Superbowl.

The big question flying around this week has been, "Whose your team?"

With all of my sporting knowledge, that is the toughest question of all for me. I don't have a team. Not in football or any of the other sports I enjoy so much. I guess it is normal for people to root for a team based on where they live, or where they grew up. Some choose by where they went to college or maybe by knowing someone who knows someone who used to play on that team.

In my 20+ years post high school, I have not gotten attatched to any particular team in any particular sport. I tend to be the one who roots for the underdog, or will temporarily jump on the band wagon for a team my friends are rooting for. I enjoy good competition. I love to see the passion that people have for "their" team. Maybe I am missing out by not having a favorite. Or maybe I am secretly shielding myself from the disappointment of my team not making it hehe Who knows.

I don't think it makes me any less of a sports fanatic then the guy on the couch with his face painted sporting his team jersey rubbing his lucky team icon. And it certainly hasn't stopped my passion for watching a good game.

Bring it on!!!
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Kangaroo Farts

My job is about as un-physical as they get. But what it lacks in a physical sense it makes up for in the mental realm.

7:30am this morning. Driving along enjoying the sun rise, humming my favorite tune or probably the one I last heard on the radio before exiting my car. Half way thru my elementary route. One of my 2nd grade boy riders (I will call him Dennis. As in, The Menace well cause it fits hehe) says to me...

"Miss Chellie....Do kangaroos fart???"

Supressing hysterical laughter I am thinking where the hell did this come from, when I glance in my overhead mirror to see Dennis sporting a brand-spankin new Outback Steakhouse t-shirt with a big ole happy kangaroo on the front. I take a moment to gather my thoughts before I reply knowing that it may be a trap of some kind.

Go with the safe answer or so I thought. "Well Dennis, I would think that Kangaroos do fart."

Dennis then proceeds to tell me that Barney (the 1st grade boy sitting next to him) thinks they do fart, but that he is wrong. Because only mammals fart and kangaroos aren't mammals. He learned that in science. So they can't fart, right?.?

2nd grade was along time ago, but I am fairly certain mammals ;have babies and wean them themselves, so I believe kangaroos qualify. How to explain this in 2nd grade terminology without risking losing my job. I can hear Dennis now. "Mommy the bus driver told me that kangaroos breastfeed." Good Lord it is a trap!!.

As a person of authority in these kids lives and someone they grow to trust, I spend time listening to them no matter if it pertains to my job or not. So often kids go unheard because the adults that surround them don't have time to stop and pay attention. If giving them 5 minutes of my time encourages them in some way, then it is well worth it to me. Even when it involves kangaroo farts! I ponder my reply knowing that it is important or they wouldn't have asked. So what do I do?? I went for the safe comical answer.

"Dennis, you might want to ask your science teacher to help you look that up when you get to class, but if I were to take a guess, I would think that if we ate nothing but grass, leaves and berries and hopped around on 2 legs all day and night...we would probably fart ALOT!"

All in a days work!!

Enjoy yours :)
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Vent

I feel like crapola. This frickin cold has kicked my booty!! It's C O L D as hell. I know I shouldn't whine about 40* but when it's 84* one day and then 40* the next, it literally throws ya for a loop. The drivers on the road this morning were Whacked!!! Season has arrived in full force and brought the snowbirds in flocks. BEWARE of cars with out of state license plates. I swear I dont know how people miss a 50' bright yellow monster bus with black stripes and big flashing lights, but it happens everyday 20 times a day! And everyone is in a bigger hurry then I am and goes to whatever lengths necessary to keep from being behind me. I can't get a parking spot in front of my own building anymore. With what I pay for this place I should have my own spot!! But Nooooooo I gotta park and could use a freakin shuttle I am so far away. No fun when I have a trunk full of groceries. I wanted to make Beef Stew for dinner. I started it yesterday and had to stop to go to my moms and tonight I have a field trip that I won't be home from until after 10pm. Which incidently is past my bedtime due to the ungawdly hour I have to wake up in the morning. Normally I would be excited about my field trip, extra hours is always a good thing. But since I feel like dookiebeans I would rather come home and sleep. I need to take a nap today cause I haven't been sleeping at night. Wasting my only quiet alone time on sleep ticks me off but is a necessary evil.

I feel out of sorts lately. Just kind of out of control of my life. I get like this every now and then. I know this too shall pass, just wish I knew what to do to make it happen sooner. I need to balance my checkbook, clean out my car, pay bills and get rid of the wicked sickies.

I will take one moment at a time like I always do and have faith that soon I will feel like myself. Until then whining and venting feels kinda good.
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Ahh the guilt

I am a loyal employee, I do my job very well, I am always punctual and always willing to help pick up the slack from our ever short handed profession.

Yesterday I called in sick, because well I am sick. Daily I am responsible to safely deliver 240 kids from home to school and back again. Catchin cooties is a job hazard. Happens to all of us due to exposure. This is my 2nd bout of cooties this school year. 2 weeks after school started was the first time. We were so short handed that I went to work even when I knew I shouldn't have. I was sick and miserable for 2 straight weeks. Ended up with Bronchitis and a hefty doctor and Rx bill to boot. I attribute that to not getting enough sleep and my inability to take any type of medication to help my symptoms due to the nature of my job.

So this time I decide to try a different approach. I called off yesterday and doped myself up on anti-hystemines and attempted to sleep the day away. Good plan I thought. Maybe I can avoid getting so sick this time.

12:00 pm my phone rings waking me up, it is my dispatcher calling. Asking me to come into work. Yep asking me to come to work. Mind you I have been a walking coughing stuffy mess since Monday and she knew it. The desperation was obvious in the tone of her voice. I hesitates for a good 45 seconds pondering the idea of actually going in. I can't believe I actually considered it!! But then I said to myself "What the hell are you thinkin?" I mustered up all my nerve and said No, I am sick and I don't feel I can preform my job safely at this time. I did the right thing. We are given sick leave for a reason. To use when we are sick, right?

So why then did I feel guilty for my decision? Shouldn't my loyalties lie with ME!! Is it not my right to properly tend to my health and well-being? I should have stayed home today as well. I feel worse again because I can't take the meds to help manage the symptoms. But as I paced the floor this morning after a restless night, I couldn't bring myself to pick up the phone and make that call. It was easier just to suck it up and go to work.

Sometimes I just can't figure me out!! lol
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Why

Why does it seem to take tragedy and sadness to make me remember how precious every moment of every hour of every day is??

To lose a friend who was too young to pass, who left behind a young family and a slew of friends. To stand at a memorial service and realize that it could be me that people are mourning.

I understand death. I have my ideas of what happens. It is the grief and sadness of the living that forces it home.

Today... I will hug my children extra tight. I will love closer. I will smile more and I will absorb the moments I am blessed with now. For this moment, could very well be my last.
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